May 29, 2020

Busy Bees

Although the world slowed down during the pandemic and we celebrated de-hurrying a few weeks ago, I’ve noticed that my work and things-to-do has swelled into the time I had available, and so now, I’m busy all over again.

And maybe that has to do with the shift in our language lately. I’ve noticed people saying things like, “Now things are returning to normal,” and “Now we are in the aftershock of Covid-19,” and I can’t help thinking about all of those promises I made about not letting the lessons of the slow down go to waste.

The rushing syndrome is something that has always been a big part of my life. I think I was born ready for a big life, impatient, and wanting to make an impact. It feels natural to me to be chasing the next goal all the time. 

I did, however, promise myself that with the forced slow down, I would commit to more slow cooking, slow journalism and slowing down in general. But alas, that diary is jam full again.

I’m interested to see how everyone’s else is going with their collective deep breathing at the insistence of the restrictions. How ARE you going?

I’m at a crossroads now, really? Do I give into my nature and return to the busy, cortisol inducing running-running of my pre-covid-19 existence or do I recommit to the slowdown?

It would be easy if it were simply a matter of quality over quantity but I like my busy, and a full life jam-packed with deals and relationships and activities and causes – it nourishes my soul and it doesn’t feel like the right trade-off.

In my experience, all or nothing seldom works and giving myself an ultimatum usually ends in heartbreak. So maybe it isn’t about breaking up with busy as I first thought, but maybe about tempering the busy. Adding cold water to hot in order to find some balance.

Maybe it is about acknowledging that the slow has a place and to introduce a light and shade to my existence that was never there before. To keep the ‘busy’; but book time for slow, for rest, and for being present and connected to the people I care about.

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